look at the top 10 dating tips that will boost the quality of your dates and help you find the perfect partner.
So, without further delay, let’s begin!
Tip #1: Set the Scene
Where you look for the perfect partner is equally as important as how you look. In other words, set the scene so that you’re putting yourself in the right line of sight. Looking for potential mates in bars and clubs isn’t exactly getting the odds on your side. Dating is hard enough let alone when you factor in trying to get to know someone on any sort of real level while downing shots or trying to talk over loud music and distractions.
Instead, consider the places where you can connect with someone and focus on planning dates in those relationshipnurturing settings. Save the bars for your girls’ nights!
That being said, there is nothing wrong with spending a third or fourth date at a bar or club where you can dance and let your hair down, but it isn’t usually recommended it for your first or second date. Those initial dates are the time to be focused on really getting to know one another and whether you’re actually compatible so you’re not wasting time and energy working on a relationship that isn’t likely to go anywhere.
It’s also when you get to explore interests, share hopes and dreams and ensure that your future visions align.
You deserve that.
Tip #2: Look Around You
Many of us tend to overlook some of the greatest potential partners that are already part of our lives simply because we’re too busy searching for something more. In truth, some of the greatest love stories of all time began as friends.
Do you have someone in the friend zone who may be a potential love interest?
Have you connected with someone on a level that you haven’t found with anyone else but perhaps you’ve never considered anything beyond the friendship you have?
You might be surprised that your perfect partner is already part of your life.
Makes sense, right?
Your friends already know you. They likely share the same interests, passions, values and aspirations. If that’s the case, half the work of the initial dating process is behind you. You’ve already spent time connecting, you’ve let your guard down and you’ve likely shared more with them than you would with someone you’ve just started dating.
Does anyone come to mind? If so, maybe it’s time to explore the possibilities.
Tip #3: Connect to Love
Dating sites can certainly make life easier when it comes to seeing what’s out there, testing the waters, and connecting with a wide range of people in a short amount of time. But not all dating sites are created equal and it’s important that you carefully consider the sites and networks you choose so that you’re maximizing the time spent searching for a partner.
Dating sites that are designed to connect specific age groups or other demographics will help you increase your chances of finding someone compatible, rather than signing up for sites where potential partners are looking for someone entirely different.
Choosing the right dating site is also important because it decreases the chances of you ending up disappointed or feeling hopeless because you haven’t been able to find matches or get anywhere beyond an initial introduction. The type of site you choose will depend on what is most important to you, as well as your age, location and gender, but they often go beyond that.
Consider dating sites that focus on specific lifestyles.
This may include:
• Career based dating sites such as military.
• Religion based dating sites.
• 40+ dating sites.
• Location based dating sites.
• Education based dating sites.
• Divorcees or Widow based dating sites.
The more focused the dating site is on what is most in line with your lifestyle, the easier it will be to find great matches.
Tip #4: Let Your Guard Down
For years, women have been told that men love a good chase and that overly aggressive women aren’t likely to find someone that will take them seriously.Forget everything you’ve ever heard because in today’s world, the playing field has been levelled.
Men love being chased just as much as women do and in many cases, men will feel far more at ease with a woman who isn’t afraid of showing him that she’s interested. In fact, imagine how much easier it will be to get to know someone you’re attracted to if they know they’re not wasting their time and that you’re serious about connecting with them on a deeper level.
Playing coy isn’t always the best strategy when it comes to great dates that lead to everlasting relationships. Playing “hard to get” could make you come across as cold, distant and disinterested. It could also make him feel uncomfortable and create an awkward vibe that just doesn’t need to be there.
So, if you’re interested in him, don’t be afraid to show it. Nurture the conversation with body language that lets him know you’re genuinely interested in him.
Sure, if he cracks a joke that you don’t funny, you don’t have to laugh. You don’t want to come across as phony! That’s not your style, right?
Instead, don’t be afraid to banter, to show off your sense of humor and tease each other affectionately. It’s a great way to break down those walls and get over the nervousness that comes from new relationships.
Tip #5: Become An Attentive Listener
Over sharing happens to the best of us. We get nervous and feel awkward and suddenly we’re dealing with a serious case of word vomit.It’s easy to lead the conversation to a point where we’re not tuned in to what someone else is trying to say, so it’s important to make sure you’re listening just as much as you’re sharing.
You also should take your time answering questions that he may have for you. Not only will your responses be more thoughtful and genuine, but if you aren’t too quick to blurt something out, you’ll be able to avoid saying something you regret. Plus, becoming an attentive listener is a great way to let him know that you’re truly interested in getting to know him. The more questions you ask, and the more often you direct conversations away from talking too much about yourself, the easier the conversation will flow.
At the same time, you want to be careful not to fire a dozen questions at him too quickly. Make sure he’s comfortable answering questions and avoid going anywhere near the toopersonal zone until you’ve had a chance to get to know each other and are aware of one another’s comfort zones.
Instead, keep conversation focused on interests, hobbies and passions. Avoid talking about past relationships; at least in the beginning.
Those deeper conversations can happen later once you’ve gotten off on the right foot and you’ve determined there’s a level of compatibility worthy of another date.
Tip #6: Pay Attention to Body Language
Body language speaks louder than words ever could. If you want to know what he’s feeling, and whether he’s genuinely interested in getting to know beyond sexual attraction, you’ll want to pay close attention to where his gaze rests and whether he leans in when he speaks to you.
Research has shown that when someone is truly attracted to another they often allow their gaze to linger on the person’s face that they’re talking to, rather than scan their body.
And remember, this goes both ways.
Your own body language will tell your date whether you’re interested in him or not so if you want to show him you’re attracted, let your body language tell the story.
Here are a few tips:
Make Eye Contact: Not only is this a sign of respect, but it tells him that you’re interested in what he has to say.
Posture: Your posture can indicate that you’re tired or bored just as much as it can tell him you’re really feeling a connection. Slouching indicates a lack of energy and interest so sit up straight or lean in to his direction.
Smile! It’s the easiest way to let someone know you’re interested in them and it’s simply a universal sign of happiness. It’s also a great way to flirt without going overboard.
Let your body language represent your interest or connection in someone and boost the quality of your dates up by making it clear that you’re having a great time and are thoroughly enjoying your time together.
Tip #7: Listen To Your Instincts
It’s easy to get excited about a date and share your experiences with friends and family to get feedback or validation that there might be something worthy of perusing.
The problem comes when you end up misadvised, or you follow the advice from someone who may not have your best interests at heart. Or perhaps they simply don’t know the person you’re dating and are basing their opinions on their own past dating failures or expectations.
It’s important that you follow your own instincts (and heart!) when it comes to dating. If the person makes you feel comfortable and you are finding yourself having a great time, don’t let anyone discourage you from seeing it through.
You know yourself better than anyone, and so if you pay attention to what your gut is telling you, and you go into every date with an open heart and mind, you’ll never be misled.
Tip #8: Put Yourself First
A lot of us are fearful of hurting someone’s feelings, especially when it comes to rejection. The truth is, you owe it to yourself to value your time and energy and so if you aren’t feeling a connection, don’t let someone else’s feelings, or your concern that he’ll be discouraged, get in the way of your own feelings.
Always do what’s best for yourself first.
Let him down gently, but firmly. You are looking for love and every date you go out on takes up a lot of mental and emotional energy so you need to keep those tanks filled. Wasting time on dates that you know aren’t going to lead anywhere are not only robbing you of finding true love, but it’s also not fair to the person you’re spending time with.
It’s easy to lead someone on out of fear of causing them pain but in the end, he will respect your honesty because it sets him free so he can continue his journey to finding his perfect match. Don’t play games.
Tip #9: Don’t Over-Research
While it’s important to take measures to ensure your safety when going out on dates, you don’t want to do so much research that there’s little left to learn about someone you’re potentially interested in. Over-researching can also lead to pre-judging. Don’t end up with a tainted viewpoint simply because you’ve uncovered bits and pieces about someone without knowing his entire story.
Give him a fair chance! Unless you’ve uncovered things about him that cause you to feel genuinely concerned, or may put your safety in harm’s way, leave it up for discovery as you get to know him. A little mystery can add a lot of excitement to a new relationship.
And finally, don’t ask your friends to tell you everything they know about him! If you’re being set up by a friend, trust their judgement and leave it at that. Learn for yourself how you feel about him and let the magic happen organically.
Tip #10: Keep It In Present
We’ve discussed the damage to what could have been a potentially genuine connection by over-sharing and it’s especially true when it comes to discussing your past relationships. Even if your previous relationship ended on good terms you don’t want to involve him in your conversation.
So, no saying things like, “you look just like my ex!”. Not only is comparing him to someone from your past disrespectful, but it will just make things awkward. No one wants to feel like they’ll need to compete with someone’s past, so don’t put that on him.
Plus, if you tend to talk about your ex, chances are you’re not over him which will be a huge red flag to a potential new partner.